Hanukkah Happening at the JCCNV

There are a lot of fun activities on Sunday for Hanukkah at the JCCNV on Little River Turnpoke in Fairfax. The fun is from 2 - 5 pm and costs $10 per family for members, $18 for non members. Check their website for more details! the fun includes arts and crafts, story time, face painting, latkes and sufganiyot!

A Flame-Free Menorah

My sister shared an article from the current Family Fun magazine with me for a really neat idea – a flame-free menorah. Made of corrugated cardboard, it uses tissue paper wrapped toothpicks for flames. Check it out at http://www.FamilyFun.com/magaine. Do a search for menorah and you will find many additional creative (and child friendly) variations.

I enjoyed making this with my son yesterday and having him color the menorah - in the special way only a 2/12 year old can decorate, favoring black permanent marker and making intricate circular scribbles. Last night Joshua told his Daddy that tomorrow was a holiday and he has been pointing out the menorah in the house. This year marks a special time – he is beginning to understand what things mean. I can’t wait to have him watch us light our menorah tonight, while he “lights” his own. I look forward to bringing out this special menorah for many years to come.

Oh, and to mark the first night of Hanukkah I am going to try my hand at sufganiyot – jelly donuts served in Israel during Hanukkah. Tomorrow my mother-in-law is bring her latkes, another recipe on my “must master” list because they are so delicious!

December Decisions

One of the most challenging times for an Interfaith couple/family is December and what do about the holidays. For those who grew up celebrating Christmas, it is hard for us to think about not doing so and if we have children, passing on to our own children the excitement and wonder that we experienced at this time of year. My son is now 2 ½ years old and I remember walking through the mall and pointing out Santa when he was 6 months old. It was exciting for me to do this, but at the same time it felt a little weird, because we are raising our son as Jewish. It was a moment of excitement followed by a feeling of maybe I should not have done that. When a friend came to visit that year we found ourselves walking the mall and she insisted that my son have his picture taken with Santa. Part of me thought, “Yes, of course, family tradition” while the other part thought, “Hmm, I bet my husband never sat on Santa’s lap.…” Tradition won out and we have an adorable picture of an inquisitive 6 month old sitting on Santa’s lap. The next December rolled around, and I didn't feel the need for a picture, so I have never done it since. I am grateful that my husband is so easy going and does not have any preconceived notions on how things must be for our family of three at this time of year. I want to say that we are still making it up as we go along, but that makes it sound as though it not thought out...and this mother thinks a lot about it!

Calling it What it Is

I subscribe to a listserve of moms from the Mother’s Circle (moms raising, or thinking about raising, their children Jewish) and this December season topic has generated a lot of discussion. One mother challenged the group to think about this time of month as “December Decisions” rather than the “December Dilemma.” I like this approach because it really is more about making decisions for your family about how you honor the season, and the faith of each person and about the traditions, both carried on and newly made, that you wish to pass on to your child. Just phrasing it as decisions give me more clarity on what this month means to us, and will in the future. My husband and I are making conscious decisions for ourselves and our son, rather than allowing the struggle that the word dilemma brings to mind. A dilemma brings to mind a constant struggle, while a decision is a carefully thought out choice. And of course as a woman, I always reserve the prerogative to change my mind!

Good Morning/Broken Toe!

The JCC did a great job with their children's programs during their recent Jewish Book Fair. My husband and I took our son to the Noah and the animals event (how fun it was to see him doing the limbo and dancing with an elephant and a zebra...and to party with a female Noah) and we also attended the Goodnight Schma reading with the grandparents. As the later activity got started I heard the organizers saying "Broken Toe! Broken Toe!" and I suddenly realized that I had heard this before - the day I took my son to the Rosh Hashanah tot program. This was the phrase I tried so desperately to remember to ask my husband about later in the day. I knew the teacher really wasn't singing "broken toe" but I thought it was close enough to what she was saying that someone would be able to translate it for me. No such luck, none that is until last weekend's author reading! As the author and organizer started greeting everyone, and the many children in attendance answered back, it suddenly dawned on me that what I was hearing was the Hebrew word for good morning (or good day), "Boker Tov" (boh-kehr tohv). My knowledge of Hebrew has begun!

4th Annual JCCNV Jewish Book Festival

The book festival begins this Sunday, November 8 and runs through November 15^th at the JCC on Little River Turnpike in Fairfax. There are a number or speakers and book signings, three great activities for children, and promises to be a great way for everyone to add to their Jewish book collection – something for all ages! One of the activities this Sunday features a visit from Noah himself (bring your camera!) a story reading, and participants are asked to bring donations for the local animal shelter. How can you miss such a good cause? For more details on this, and other events, check out the JCC website at http://www.jccnvorg. See you there!

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper with a Toddler – Learning on the Run!

Last month was my first experience with High Holiday services with a toddler. As we are not yet members of a synagogue, we went to services with relatives. I only attended the beginning of Rosh Hashanah services before taking my son to the toddler service. We both enjoyed the singing and I learned a few things as well – like the shofar is not blown on Rosh Hashanah when it falls on Shabbat. It was fun to hear my son shout out the words he knew, like shofar and challah, and watch his interest in learning a few more words. I still have a lot to learn – in the toddler room we sang a wonderful little hello song to each child, but I had never heard the words before and I had a hard time remembering it enough to ask others what it meant….my best attempt at repeating what we sang drew strange faces from my family. I think there are a lot more Tot Shabbat services in my future!

The synagogue we attended is conservative, and the service was all in Hebrew (for the small parts I attended). Even though I do not understand what is being said, I always find the service to have a musical like quality; it is a comforting sound and I enjoy following along in English when it is time. My husband often sings prayers in Hebrew and my son really enjoys it – no doubt he is enjoying what he is hearing although he does know know the meaning yet either.

We hope to belong to a synagogue soon, which would make attending High Holiday services much more meaningful next year for us all. In the mean time, it is a start and I will always have fond memories of the challah and honey shared with my toddler at our first Tot Shabbat!

What's In A Name?

In the August 7 issue of The Week, there was an article in the “Best Columns: The U.S.” section entitled, “Why should Jews pretend to be WASPS?” by Ron Rosenbaum of slate.com who argues that it is time for “one of our most wildly successful Jewish Americans,” Jon Stewart of the Daily Show, “to change his name back to the one his parents gave him – Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz." The author argues that Stewart’s popularity is due to “his genius for exposing the “pretentious masks” worn by politicians, media figures, and other big shots” and as such, he should change his name and remove the “faint but unnecessary relic of anti-Semitism.” As a mother of a young boy with a “Jewish” first and last name, it makes me think. Knowing we would raise our son Jewish, I wanted him to have a Jewish first name, although since it is in the Old Testament, it is also a Christian name. My husband just liked the name for a number of reasons. Unintentionally, his name reflects both his parents religious backgrounds. Funny how things turn out.

Super Jew T-Shirts

Where once the word Jew or Jewish would have no more significance than any other word, being part of a Jewish family I now stop to read anything that contains the word Jew or anything Jewish. One example:

The “You saw It? You liked it? Here’s how to get it!” column in the August 14 issue of Entertainment Weekly where a reader asked where they could find the Star of David/Superman t-shirt that Seth Rogen wore in the movie “Funny People.” The shirt was originally designed for a school play, but is now available to all at http://www.verymeri.com. What is not mentioned in the article, but is on the website, is that a portion of the sales will benefit the Jewish World Watch and Temple Israel Day School of Hollywood. When doing a web search for the image, I came across another design in what might be considered the original “Super Jew” t-shirt, available at http://www.superjudaicaheaven.com. They also sell the image as a magnet and mention the likeness of it to Mel Brooks character in the movie “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” I like the idea of the T-shirts, and the bold statement in makes. It also lends itself to the question, is Superman Jewish? There are books written on the subject with some compelling evidence. But that’s a topic for another day…

The "Importance" of Lighting the Candles on Shabbat

This is one Jewish tradition that I try to make happen each week, although with a hectic summer that included a lot of time away from home, it was not easy to do. I welcome the more routine schedule of the fall which will permit us to celebrate Shabbat more regularly. My son’s first Hebrew word was challah, so this time of the week has special meaning and reminds me of how quickly he is developing.

If that was not reason enough, last week when we lit the Shabbat candles after a long absence, my son starting singing Happy Birthday…his birthday is in June, so obviously this was a more recent memory than Shabbat, although he had no trouble saying challah as he grabbed for the loaf! Still, it might be time to get back to this…

Jewish Numbers in the United States

Did you know that Israel has 40.6%of the world’s Jewish population, and the US has 40.3% according to a 2006 survey found at http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/jewpop.html?

Did you know that the Jewish population in the United States is about 2% and has remained steady since 1990? It is split about equal between Reform at 41.4% and Conservative at 40.4%. By comparison, the projected numbers on non-religious people in mid 2000 was expected to be at 8.8%, and Muslims at 1.4% according to http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/02-Who-We-Are/section-22.html.

While researching Jewish and interfaith statistics, I came across this interesting article on Interfaith marriages. The article quotes a 2000-2001 National Jewish Population Study that reports 47% intermarriage rate for Jews who wed between 1996-2001. This up considerably from the previous decade, check out the article at http://www.interfaithfamily.com/news_and_opinion/outreach_success_stories/New_Numbers_New_Intermarriage_Initiatives.shtml?rd=2

Interfaith Resources – Interfaithfamily.com

A useful website on all ages and stages of Judaism is http://www.InterfaithFamily.com, with resources on interdating, marriage, parenting, Shabbat, December holidays, Passover and Easter, death and morning, spirituality, news to name just a few.

Interfaith Resources – Judaic Gifts

Mitzvah Tree Gifts, located at The Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia located at 8900 Little River Turnpike, Fairfax, is home to a variety of Judaic gifts for all ages. They change their displays to coordinate for the seasons and as such it is a great place to look around , especially for those of us new to all things Jewish. I stopped in there frequently after attending a Mother’s Circle class and my son and I enjoyed looking at all of the children’s items for each holidays. I added to our book collection with books on Purim and The Goodnight Shma , as well as some Jewish children’s music and a pair of Shabbat candlesticks. Find them right inside the JCC or online at http://www.mitzvahtreegifts.com. They are on summer hours now, so check out their website for exact days and times of operation.

Interfaith Resources –Shalom Baby

This is something I wish I had known about when my son was born – a “Welcome to Our World” kit for new parents, newborns and newly adopted children in the Greater Washington Jewish community. “Shalom Baby” welcome bags include wonderful Jewish resources – a Jewish holiday board book, Jewish children’s music, an Alef-bet placemat as well as an immunization guide, coupons and other useful information. To find out more about Shalom Baby, contact Beth Felsen, Northern Virginia Engagement Coordinator at 703-537-3012 or email her at BethF@jccnv.org.

Interfaith Resources –The Jewish Community Center

The local Jewish Community Center is another obvious resource, but one that I did not explore until taking my Mother’s Circle classes. They offer tours, and it is a great way to learn about the many resources they offer – fitness classes, religious and language classes, teen and senior programs, fine arts classes, childcare, preschool and more. I enjoyed reading over the packet of information and looking at the brochures for various organizations – summer camps, Jewish film festivals, Jewish information and referral services, and more! The Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia is located at 8900 Little River Turnpike, in Fairfax. Find them on line at http://www.jccnv.org or call them at 703-323-0880.

Interfaith Resources –Mother’s Circle

Another wonderful resource is the Mother’s Circle, a series of classes created by the Jewish Outreach Institute, an independent, national organization that works to open hearts, minds and doors into the Jewish community for interfaith families. Classes start in the fall and run for 9 months, meeting on average, twice a month. I completed the class this summer through the Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The classes provide a safe environment for non-Jewish moms raising (or thinking about raising) their children Jewish. It was a place to ask questions, learn the basics about holidays and traditions and make friends. It was fun listening to other mother’s share their experiences and made me realize I am not alone in creating a Jewish path for my family. I also enjoyed earned learning from mothers who had children older than my son, and their answers to such questions as, “Who us this Jesus guy?”and “How come Grandma has a Christmas tree and we don’t?” If you are interested in learning more, please contact Laurie Albert at the JCC at 703-946-3655.

Interfaith Resources –The PJ Library

If you have children you absolutely must sign up for the PJ Library – it is an amazing resource for parents raising Jewish children. A foundation that partners with local Jewish communities, PJ Library sends out Jewish bedtime stories and songs each month to participating families…for FREE. The books (and CDs) are age appropriate and are a wonderful way to help families build a Jewish library. As an Interfaith mom, I have learned a lot about Judaism and holidays through these books. Each time I read to my son, my own understanding and comfort with Judaism grows. The CD we received is one of my favorites even though I do not what I am singing much of the time! Every couple of months they send out a short email survey about the books they have sent and it only takes a minute or so and I love looking at the other books sent to older children – another way to learn about Jewish books. Check them out at http://www.PJLibrary.com.

Security Surprizes

Like many others, I was shocked last month by the killing at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial. Shocked by the action, shocked that gunman was 89 years old, shocked that a man went to work one day never to return to his wife and child, shocked that a place dedicated to the memory of so many who had perished during the Holocaust was scene to yet another senseless killing. That evening I heard a National Public Radio report that a play about hate was to be performed that evening – a dialogue between Anne Frank and Emmett Till, the 14 year-old Chicago boy who was murdered in Money, Mississippi in 1955 for flirting with a white woman; two young children talking about the role of hate in their young lives. I could not help but wonder about the role of hate in my young son’s life. As a mother, some day I will have to explain such actions to my son. How does one begin to explain the hatred some people feel, hatred so deep and powerful that it drives them to feel justified in killing others to be heard?

On my first visit to a synagogue, I was struck by seeing a police officer outside the front door. I was used to seeing officers at church around weddings and funerals and holiday services, and thought it was the same at the Temple since I was there for High Holy Day services. Then I was told that there was security at the synagogue every day. That was a few years ago and I still think about that, why it is necessary in this country, in this world. I now know that security is present at every synagogue and Jewish Community Center, even in Israel. This bothers me, the need for security at a place of religion. It is a reminder that hatred exists everywhere.

I wonder now, some day will someone take a look at my son and dislike him or worse yet, hate him because of his religion? And then, how do I explain that? Raising a child in a religion I did not grow up in can be daunting. Not having shared experiences to draw on while raising my child makes me apprehensive at times. Apprehensive, that is, until I think about all of the other things I know little about, like raising a son, or getting a toddler to eat his vegetables or say please and thank you. I am learning as I go, making some mistakes, doing some things well (I think), and persevering in the best way I know how because I want my son to grow strong, learn about the world and be a good man. I think I know how to do that, and when I don’t, I reach out to others, to learn from their experiences. That in itself, is a lesson I want to pass along to my son. You do not have to know everything. That is the beauty of life – you learn as you go and you do the best job that you can.

My Interfaith Background - Laying the Groundwork

My journey into Judaism started with the preparation of my wedding, the first Jewish wedding that I had ever attended. However, the true journey began two years ago when I became a mother. Like many parents, having a child changed my views on life and made me reflect upon the values I grew up with and what I want to instill in my son.

I grew up in upstate NY in a rural community – if I had Jewish classmates, I wasn’t aware of it. My mother reminded me that our neighbors across the street were an interfaith family. They had children a few years older than me so I never had much in common except a few kick-the-can games. I grew up going to church and served as an acolyte for a few years. I couldn’t help but feel closer to God when assisting the priest with the service. However, as many college kids, I never went to church much after high school, except at Christmas time. It just didn't seem important. But as an adult I realized that giving a child a religious foundation is important – it gives them something to draw upon in goof and bad times and exposes them to a whole cannon of literature and a cultural foundation. If my child walks away from religion in at a point in his life, that is his choice, but it has become important to provide him with a religious foundation as he grows up.

In college religion never really came up in conversation except between my Catholic roommate and I, and then I was just amazed at her recall in history classes when it came to memorizing a list of the Catholic popes. I knew there were Jewish students on campus (I saw the signs for Hillel House) but it wasn’t until I worked and lived at a boarding school that I made Jewish friends. That is where I attended my first Passover meal and learned about Hanukkah, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur through All-School Assemblies.

As my son's non-Jewish grandmother says, “If he is going to be a Jew, I want him to be a good one!” So do I…even if I cannot yet quite define for myself what that means. As I take my journey to Judaism on the road, I will be accompanied by my toddler son both learning and growing together.