L'Shana Tova - Happy New Year!

Yesterday my son and I attended a "Torah for Tots" program for the second year in a row. Given that my son is an active 3 year old, this short program for children often stands in for my own formal programming at this time of year. (Next year I really need to sign up for childcare and find a spiritual home).

The teacher did a fabulous job with 2 and 3 year olds and this year the program included talk about tashlikh - the throwing away of one's sins for the new year, done symbolically by throwing bread crumbs into a moving body of water. The teacher asked if anyone had ever made a mistake and my son quickly raised his hand. I smiled, wow, such an honest boy! (Never mind the fact that the next day he asked me what a mistake was.) Another little boy in the audience volunteered the fact that his brother made a lot of mistakes, bringing laughter for all of the adults in the room.

The teacher unfolded a "river" at the front of the class and asked the children to come and sit around it. I asked my son if he wanted to go and he said yes, and before I could stand up, he wove his way between adults sitting in children's chairs and other little children to find a spot on the river bank. I smiled, proud of his confidence in trying something new. He chatted with a mom sitting near by and did a good job of listening and waiting for his "breadcrumbs" (little bits of paper) and throwing them into the river at the right moment. Not once did he look back at me. He them navigated the sea of children and knees and found me again. (Joshua begins preschool next week and I have to admit to thinking his confidence and curiosity meant he was indeed ready for preschool and hours without mom.)

The children also received torahs and then marched around the room. Again, Joshua was up for this activity and patiently waited his turn to receive the torah, and again waited patiently to return it.

Joshua is observant - and asked me why everyone was "wearing hats." I explained that the men and boys were wearing kippahs (yamakas) and he indicated that he wanted one too. I told him we would get him one, forgetting to tell him he already had his very own kippah given to him at a bar mitzvah. Wow, my little man, already establishing his Jewish identity!

After the program it was time for the playground - something my son sees as an integral part of visiting the synagogue. It was a beautiful day, and as we talked while he played I watched a couple of teenage boys also playing on the playground equipment. (No doubt enjoying the fact that there were few adults around to tell them otherwise.) I wondered if that would be my son in another decade, leaving service to talk to pretty girls (as other boys were) or challenging a friend to follow the leader over playground equipment?

Another fond moment - walking back to the car with grandma with Joshua saying, "Wow I have a breeze" as one kicked up, shaking the leaves in the neighborhood. He then noticed that grandma had a breeze, and then that Mommy did too. Like I said, he is an observant young man!

Where is God?

One day recently I asked my son who God was. He responded with a sentence about Shabbat, lighting candles and not blowing them out, and juice for God - but don't drink the juice he reminded me! He then asked me, "Where he (God) is?" Oh wow, I thought to myself, these questions are starting now? I'm not ready! Oh well, I thought as I replied, "God is everywhere." He seemed satisfied with that.

Later that evening when we were reading before bed, he asked me again, "Where he is?" I gave him the same answer as earlier, "everywhere." He then said, "I think God wants to go outside and look at the stars and the moon." I smiled, saying, "I bet he does!"

Recently my two-year-old niece showed her mother a picture she was drawing. My niece proudly told her it was a picture of God. Better keep that picture!

I like the idea that as we adults pride ourselves on trying to understand the world, it is the youngest ones amongst us who really do.

Keeping Kosher at Preschool 101

Preschool is just around the corner now, and I am learning something new with each piece of mail. What was new to me, but really shouldn't have been, was the fact that the preschool keeps Kosher. I knew that from my first research of the school, but I was thinking that meant no meals that mixed meat and dairy. Of course it means that, but so much more. While children can purchase lunch at school, for those who bring their own, it must be dairy only. Then my mother-in-law had to educate me. My home is not Kosher, thus the meals I prepare are not Kosher. When I cook meat, it is not Kosher. To be sure that Kosher is kept, children are asked to bring only dairy meals from home. I felt a little silly having had to relearn what I thought I knew about this. (But didn't a wise person once say we should learn something new each day?) With so many children coming from different backgrounds (both Jewish and non Jewish), the school needs to make sure that everyone follows the same dietary standards when at school. I wonder how hard that is?

What that means for "brown baggers" is a dairy lunch is OK, as is one with tuna and fish sticks. And then, of course, the usual, fruit and vegetables, drinks, etc.

For birthdays, the school encourages families to ask teachers for suggestions for a book or game that the birthday child and their family can donate to the class, in lieu of a birthday treat. If treats are brought in, they must be prepackaged and carry the Kosher symbol. I love the idea of teaching my son to give to others on his birthday, and even with his having a summer birthday, I plan to help him celebrate it early and before school ends for the year with a gift to his class. As for birthday treats, I have months to mull that one over!

Summer Break

I haven't posted in two months. I have worked full time in the summer the past few years, and it was the same for the summer of 2010. The work I do (summer residential camp) is intense, and takes weeks of prep work and then wrap-up so I haven't had much time to post. I have to get better about that next year, think ahead and do some writing to sustain me over the summer.

As I have thought about this, it sadly mirrors my own Jewish learning over the summer. Not much new on that front. Pushed aside for other things. Now that things have slowed down a bit, I find myself thinking about things more. Probably a lot of reasons for that - High Holy Days, Jewish preschool starting, a bit more time to contemplate life. I wonder if that happens with others - a religious summer break, in a sense...

How to You Correctly Pronounce the Word God?

One of the traditions my husband and I have started with our son is reading The Bedtime Sh'ma by Sarah Gershman each night as the final book before bed. It is a nice way to bring a peaceful setting to the night, and I always find myself thinking about the words. The book starts off with the lines, "What have I done today? Did I hurt someone else? I ask for forgiveness. Did someone hurt me? I try to forgive." It is a good way to review my own actions ans words during the day.

Naturally, the word God comes up a lot.

Last week while reading the book, after hearing me say the word God, my son said, "No, mom, its God." I looked at him and tried to say God exactly the way he did, but he was not satisfied with my attempt. He corrected me again (in his mind at least, as my ears heard no difference in our pronunciations.) Is there really more than one way to say God? And am I really being corrected on this by a three year old?

Preschool Thoughts

When I had my son, I never gave much thought to preschool. I was so busy learning everything a new mom needs to, that preschool seemed light years away. Then I started my Mother's Circle class and it introduced me to the idea of Jewish preschool and the idea really grew on me.

Many of the mother's in my class had sent/were sending their children to Jewish preschool and they had a lot of good things to say about it. As a MOJ (my newly coined term meaning Mother of a Jew), but not a Jew themselves, they liked the idea of having their children learn about Judaism in friendly environment, and by those more versed in Judaism than themselves. Many of the moms felt that they learned right along with their children and that their children's preschool experiences were helping them create a more Jewish centered home. Even the occasional "How come we don't say this prayer at home, Mommy?" encouraged conversations between the moms and their Jewish spouses. Jewish preschool seemed like a good way to not only help your child learn all things Jewish, but for the family to as well.

Can you see where this is going?

My husband and I are sending my son to a Jewish preschool in the fall. I am excited and nervous, as any mother would be sending her child to school for the first time. Will he make friends? Will he enjoy it? Will he miss me? Will I make a good Kosher lunch? Will I remember to check my calendar each week to remind myself that there is no preschool on Jewish holidays, some of which I have never heard of? Will I stand out as a non-Jewish mom? Do preschools have room mothers? Do you have to be Jewish to be a Jewish mom? =)

Noah and the Ark - Totally Jewish!

Recently a friend and I were shopping at Costco and we stopped at the children's book area. We were there quite awhile and took turns showing my son different books to keep him occupied while we shopped. My friend handed him car books, then dinosaurs books, then grabbed a Noah and the ark book. Before she handed it to him though, she stopped and said, "Oh, you wouldn't be interested in this!" I knew immediately what she meant - she thought Noah was not an appropriate book for a boy being raised Jewish. I smiled and said, "Oh Noah and the ark? He's totally Jewish!"

I came home thinking about that and smiling, it is not the first time I encountered someone thinking a story they know as a Christian was not a Jewish story. When you are raised in one religion I don't think there is usually a lesson in which you learn that some religious figures are "shared" by other religions. There should be, because I think it would go a long way in helping people understand different religions. Of course, now I want to be the one to write that book, but I have a lot to learn before I can do that. Perhaps a brochure entitled, "Totally Jewish" to be given to interfaith families, to help those raised as Christians know there is a lot of shared history? Look for it at your nearest bookstore.... some day!

Shopping for Passover

As I learn more about the Jewish holidays, I have become fascinated about which stores carry which items, and, I am happy to say, that it seems as though grocery stores are beginning to carry more and more Passover and other Jewish items.

This spring I made my first trip to Kosher Mart in Rockville, Maryland to prep for Passover. Just a walk down the aisle and I started learning. I was surprised (but I guess I shouldn't have been) that many of the shelves had been "Kosher for Passover" before Passover items were placed on them. It was also interesting to see the many new (to me) food items, and even the many types of matza. there were lots of specialty food items, and Passover children's items (like the box of plagues mentioned in the last entry). I even picked up some Passover decorated kitchen towels. I know, we are probably the only Jewish household with such a thing, but its a great "crossover" item!

It may have always been the case, but I now notice many of the local grocery stores feature Passover items, even recipes, in their weekly circulars. I have a recipe for a Passover apple strudel on my "to try" list now and so much left over matza, I really need to make it soon. What, you didn't notice that Giant was selling 5-pound boxes of matza, and depending on the brand, nearly giving it away? Oh yes! I bought two boxes - that is ten pounds of matza to the chagrin of my family. I am pleased to say we used/gave away most of it.

Speaking of Giant, they now carry Hamantashen in their bakery department. I noticed it right before Passover, so I think it is a new item and not just a seasonal one.

Gesher Day Revisited

My family and I made it to Gesher Day last month, and we all had a blast. Joshua made his own matza, planted flowers to bring home for the Passover table, played Passover bingo (everyone was a winner) and did a lot of fun activities. One of my favorites was the dress-up and get your picture taken as Moses. They took pictures and immediately emailed them - ours are just precious. I now have some idea of what my son may look like as a man with a beard. As soon as he had the staff in his hand he tapped the ground, I think he may have a little shepherd in him somewhere.

It was a free event, the children got bags for their goodies and there were free snacks - a really fun event and a great way to see the school. Don't miss it next year!

A Passover...Thanksgiving

I had been looking forward to Passover for weeks, but things did not go as planned.

Each year I learn a little more about holiday traditions through family and reading, and I try to incorporate new things with each holiday. This year that included cleaning the kitchen thoroughly. I had the "how to" from a synagogue and I was amazed at how intricate and time consuming preparing for Passover can be. I think of it as spring cleaning - with a purpose! I made a list of those things that needed to have "Kosher for Passover" labels, what was OK with out labels, if purchased before Passover, and what could be purchased during Passover without labels. I am not sure I got it all right, but it was a start, and it made me think about the holiday a lot more than had I not tried any of this.

Now that my son is inching closer to his third birthday, I thought it would be the perfect time to start incorporating some child-friendly traditions into Passover as well. I was really looking forward to grandpa hiding the afikomen, for example. I was also really tempted to buy a box of plagues, but thought it might be a bit much for a not-quite-three-year-old. I also thought opening the door for Elijah would be fun for my son. We had been reading a Passover children's book to Joshua that depicted both of these activities, so I thought he would understand them, at least in part.

However, it was not to be. My son woke up that morning with a fever that medicine and a doctor visit did not help bring it down. An hour before dinner the fever spiked and we took him to the ER. We were grateful for ER departments with special children's areas and we were not there terribly long, but our dinner was cancelled. We did make it back home to my in-laws for dinner, but by that time it as late and half the family had already eaten. With so much food, we got together the next night, but did not bring out the Haggadahs.

I was disappointed, but tried to think about the meaning of freedom and what Passover means. This year for me it focused on a different kind of freedom - freedom from worry for a son so ill we had to take him to ER, not once, but twice during Passover week. As painful as it is to have a sick child, I knew that I was free from the worry that many parents face with a seriously ill child. I also felt free from serious worry over the grandparents on both sides of the family, as we have three friends who are all dealing with serious health concerns with a parent. Our time for this will come, but this year I felt grateful for having them healthy and being a part of my son's life.

So this year, Passover felt like a different kind of freedom, and most of all, a real thanksgiving.

Family Fun this Sunday!

A number of parent and Jewish family resources have mentioned a fun family event being held this Sunday, March 21 at the Gesher Jewish Day School in Fairfax. This is their third annual Community Family Fun Day and my family and I plan to check it out.

Gesher Jewish Day School - 3rd Annual Community Family Fun Day - Sunday · March 21 · 1- 4 · FREE EVENT
Mr. Twister performs (1:30pm)! Matzah Factory with Chabad of Northern Virginia, Dress up as Moses and Miriam, Learn about the Frog and Butterfly life cycle, plant flowers for your Shabbat table, Visit with Pako the Parakeet, Face Painting by JCCNV, Play Passover Bingo, Build a giant pyramid challenge, Take an Exodus hike, Jump on a moonbounce, Federation of Galaxy Explorers here too! Free Refreshments and Raffle. Gesher is located at 4800 Mattie Moore Court in Fairfax, VA 22030. For more information call 703-962-9216.

A St. Patrick's Day Parsley Update

My son and I planted parsley from seed on Tu B'Shevat a few weeks ago. At 2 1/2 years old, he has been quite interested in watering the plants every few days. That might be because he has also taken a liking to playing in the kitchen sink and I keep the miniature greenhouse on the kitchen window sill, but it could also be because he truly understands my chats with him about the Jewish holidays, right?

The plants are still small, but healthy, and I hope they continue to thrive until Passover. We will definitely have to supplement the parsley on the Seder plate, but I assure you this momma will be eating the home-grown type when the time comes!

Hamantashen Happiness

Purim is a favorite time of year for me because I have found it to be a great way to share a little piece of what I am learning about Judaism with my family and friends. (And, truth be told, I have a sweet tooth.)

Last year I learned how to make Hamantashen with the Mother's Circle class and then a good family friend shared her recipe with me and helped me work on my triangle making skills. She came over to the house and my mother-in-law joined us and we made a party out of it. Lots of laughter and story telling. It will always be a treasured memory. For anyone new to the world of Hamantashen, they are cookies shaped like triangles usually filled with jam or poppy seeds. The tricky part is making a circle of dough into a triangle. I am still working on that skill, but so far none of the tasters seem to mind eating misshapen cookies, so I think I am doing OK.

Last year I experimented with a lot of fillings - poppy seed, chocolate chip, raspberry, strawberry, apricot and ginger marmalade. I used the poppy seed straight out of the can and they were terrible. Not the traditional cookie my mother-in-law remembered, so I am still on the hunt to perfect that part. However, the jam filled ones were great, as were the chocolate ones which the older family members had not had before, but what I am happily learning now is very common these days. (Wow, that made me sound like a Hamantashen historian!)

My favorite part of all of this is the sharing with friends and family. I am going to make it my goal to introduce them to someone new each year. Last year I mailed them to my parents and aunt, this year I included my siblings. I also gave them to some friends, some of whom had never heard of them before. It was fun watching my son deliver them and then help adults learn to say Hamantashen. My sister called and left a message saying how much she enjoyed the "Hama....Hema...Hamanintash...uh, the cookies." I laughed, happy to know I am not the only one I know who finds some of these new words a bit of a tongue twister.

By the time my son is in college, I should have the triangle shaping down well and I look forward to sending him Hamantashen care packages each winter. After I teach him how to make them, of course...

Purim Party

Purim was quite a while ago, but I wanted to reflect on how we spent it. We took our son to a great little preschool party held at Barnes and Nobles in Tysons Corner and sponsored by Growing Jewish Families. It was our first event with the group and it was nice to see a large turnout. The children decorated crowns with stickers, pompoms and macaroni and strung macaroni necklaces. (I smiled as I realized this was my son's first experience with macaroni art - a childhood milestone!) They received gift bags with Hamantashen and coloring pages and other fun activities. Goodnight Schma was read and I was pleased that this learning-to-be Jewish mom had a copy of the book already in the family library. (Thank you JCC book fair!)

It's Tu B'Shevat!

Sunday will be Tu B'Shevat - the 15th day of the Jewish month of Shevat, a holiday known as the "New Year for Trees." It is spring in Israel now, the prefect time for planting, but there are a lot of ways that those of who are still in winter can celebrate:

1. Plant a tree in Israel

My husband and I had a tree planted last year in honor of our son, and in memory of a special family member who had passed away through the Jewish National Fund organization. The trees start at $18 and include a beautiful certificate. For more information check out their website at:

http://www.jnf.org/support/tree-planting-center/.

2. Plant Parsley Now for Passover

I guess this is pretty common with Jewish preschools, and I love the idea. I am going to try it this year with my son. We found a nice window sill starter kit and the local Home Depot where there were all kinds of options. I am not much of a green thumb, but I think it will be fun to begin teaching my son about plants - and something fun to watch in the weeks ahead.

3. Tu B'Shevat Seder

Another fun idea for those who like to experiment in the kitchen- planning a dinner that showcases the many fruits of Israel, as mentioned in the Bible: figs, dates, pomegranates, olives, grapes/raisins, wheat and barley.

4. Learning About the Environment

Make this weekend an earth-friendly weekend - serve a vegetarian menu, renew your commitment to recycling, take a nature walk and find different textures of things, what does the day smell like? Go to the library and find some new books to read about trees, plants and even new kinds of fruits and vegetables. I am always looking for new recipes and ideas for dinner - this is a great opportunity to try something new.

That Soda is for God

Last week my son and I were lighting the candles for Shabbat and as I set the table, my son began eating the Challah - one of his favorite foods. I told him he needed to wait, we needed to say the prayers first. I poured the "wine" in the Kiddish cup and Joshua started to reach for that saying, "I want that soda." (Fear not, it contained no wine, we prefer sparkling juice.) As toddlers like to do, he repeated his request saying, "I want that juice." I said, no, that is for God. Then he says, "I want God's soda." I could not help but laugh and found myself looking upward, thinking I hope God was enjoying this! It was the first time I have heard my son say the word God.

Santa is Watching...and Did He Bring You Everything You Wanted?

Last month, my son and I were at a number of events with children before the Christmas holiday. More than once I heard a mother tell her child not to be naughty "because Santa was watching." Now that I am the mother of a Jew, hearing that made me pause. It is not something I will ever be telling my son. I thought about my own childhood, and never remembered being told to be good because Santa was watching, although that was quite awhile ago! I stopped and thought about this, as I do whenever I am faced with something that used to be the norm in my life growing up as a Christian. Now those things make me stop and think because it is not the way I will be raising my son. Its like a blinking light that goes off and I think about how it connects to my own experiences as a child and then how my own child will experience something(or not). I stop, then think about what it means to be different -because that is the way I often think about the fact that my son is being raised differently then I was, at least religion wise. It is not a bad thing, but something that makes me think about my decision and more often than not, reaffirms my decision to raise him as a Jew. Oh well, I eventually think, I guess Joshua will have to learn to be good because his parents are watching!

Another similar blinking light moment was hearing adults ask my son if he had a nice Christmas and if Santa brought him everything he wanted. The first time we were asked this I think my son and I had the same blank look on our faces. He is 2 1/2 and often is shy around adults he does not know, where my blank face was the result of me trying to think quickly - something I am usually pretty good at doing. The adult quickly moved on to ask another child the same question, but I was left wondering how best to answer the question. Part of me wanted to say something like, "Not everyone believes in Santa." Or maybe, "He is Jewish." Part of me wanted to remind people that not every child thinks of Santa in December, but another part of me didn't want to offend the speaker either. After all, up until a few years ago I am sure I would have said the same thing. We do celebrate Christmas with my family, and that is an important part of tradition for me. So do I say something like, "No Santa this time, but Grandma and Grandpa were very good to him!" Weeks later I am still pondering my response to this - I want to be ready next year. I have not come up with anything yet, though.