Each year I learn a little more about holiday traditions through family and reading, and I try to incorporate new things with each holiday. This year that included cleaning the kitchen thoroughly. I had the "how to" from a synagogue and I was amazed at how intricate and time consuming preparing for Passover can be. I think of it as spring cleaning - with a purpose! I made a list of those things that needed to have "Kosher for Passover" labels, what was OK with out labels, if purchased before Passover, and what could be purchased during Passover without labels. I am not sure I got it all right, but it was a start, and it made me think about the holiday a lot more than had I not tried any of this.
Now that my son is inching closer to his third birthday, I thought it would be the perfect time to start incorporating some child-friendly traditions into Passover as well. I was really looking forward to grandpa hiding the afikomen, for example. I was also really tempted to buy a box of plagues, but thought it might be a bit much for a not-quite-three-year-old. I also thought opening the door for Elijah would be fun for my son. We had been reading a Passover children's book to Joshua that depicted both of these activities, so I thought he would understand them, at least in part.
However, it was not to be. My son woke up that morning with a fever that medicine and a doctor visit did not help bring it down. An hour before dinner the fever spiked and we took him to the ER. We were grateful for ER departments with special children's areas and we were not there terribly long, but our dinner was cancelled. We did make it back home to my in-laws for dinner, but by that time it as late and half the family had already eaten. With so much food, we got together the next night, but did not bring out the Haggadahs.
I was disappointed, but tried to think about the meaning of freedom and what Passover means. This year for me it focused on a different kind of freedom - freedom from worry for a son so ill we had to take him to ER, not once, but twice during Passover week. As painful as it is to have a sick child, I knew that I was free from the worry that many parents face with a seriously ill child. I also felt free from serious worry over the grandparents on both sides of the family, as we have three friends who are all dealing with serious health concerns with a parent. Our time for this will come, but this year I felt grateful for having them healthy and being a part of my son's life.
So this year, Passover felt like a different kind of freedom, and most of all, a real thanksgiving.
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