Shalom NoVA - Interfaith

L'Shana Tova - Happy New Year!

2010-09-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my son and I attended a "Torah for Tots" program for the second year in a row. Given that my son is an active 3 year old, this short program for children often stands in for my own formal programming at this time of year. (Next year I really need to sign up for childcare and find a spiritual home).

The teacher did a fabulous job with 2 and 3 year olds and this year the program included talk about tashlikh - the throwing away of one's sins for the new year, done symbolically by throwing bread crumbs into a moving body of water. The teacher asked if anyone had ever made a mistake and my son quickly raised his hand. I smiled, wow, such an honest boy! (Never mind the fact that the next day he asked me what a mistake was.) Another little boy in the audience volunteered the fact that his brother made a lot of mistakes, bringing laughter for all of the adults in the room.

The teacher unfolded a "river" at the front of the class and asked the children to come and sit around it. I asked my son if he wanted to go and he said yes, and before I could stand up, he wove his way between adults sitting in children's chairs and other little children to find a spot on the river bank. I smiled, proud of his confidence in trying something new. He chatted with a mom sitting near by and did a good job of listening and waiting for his "breadcrumbs" (little bits of paper) and throwing them into the river at the right moment. Not once did he look back at me. He them navigated the sea of children and knees and found me again. (Joshua begins preschool next week and I have to admit to thinking his confidence and curiosity meant he was indeed ready for preschool and hours without mom.)

The children also received torahs and then marched around the room. Again, Joshua was up for this activity and patiently waited his turn to receive the torah, and again waited patiently to return it.

Joshua is observant - and asked me why everyone was "wearing hats." I explained that the men and boys were wearing kippahs (yamakas) and he indicated that he wanted one too. I told him we would get him one, forgetting to tell him he already had his very own kippah given to him at a bar mitzvah. Wow, my little man, already establishing his Jewish identity!

After the program it was time for the playground - something my son sees as an integral part of visiting the synagogue. It was a beautiful day, and as we talked while he played I watched a couple of teenage boys also playing on the playground equipment. (No doubt enjoying the fact that there were few adults around to tell them otherwise.) I wondered if that would be my son in another decade, leaving service to talk to pretty girls (as other boys were) or challenging a friend to follow the leader over playground equipment?

Another fond moment - walking back to the car with grandma with Joshua saying, "Wow I have a breeze" as one kicked up, shaking the leaves in the neighborhood. He then noticed that grandma had a breeze, and then that Mommy did too. Like I said, he is an observant young man!

Where is God?

2010-08-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

One day recently I asked my son who God was. He responded with a sentence about Shabbat, lighting candles and not blowing them out, and juice for God - but don't drink the juice he reminded me! He then asked me, "Where he (God) is?" Oh wow, I thought to myself, these questions are starting now? I'm not ready! Oh well, I thought as I replied, "God is everywhere." He seemed satisfied with that.

Later that evening when we were reading before bed, he asked me again, "Where he is?" I gave him the same answer as earlier, "everywhere." He then said, "I think God wants to go outside and look at the stars and the moon." I smiled, saying, "I bet he does!"

Recently my two-year-old niece showed her mother a picture she was drawing. My niece proudly told her it was a picture of God. Better keep that picture!

I like the idea that as we adults pride ourselves on trying to understand the world, it is the youngest ones amongst us who really do.

Keeping Kosher at Preschool 101

2010-08-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

Preschool is just around the corner now, and I am learning something new with each piece of mail. What was new to me, but really shouldn't have been, was the fact that the preschool keeps Kosher. I knew that from my first research of the school, but I was thinking that meant no meals that mixed meat and dairy. Of course it means that, but so much more. While children can purchase lunch at school, for those who bring their own, it must be dairy only. Then my mother-in-law had to educate me. My home is not Kosher, thus the meals I prepare are not Kosher. When I cook meat, it is not Kosher. To be sure that Kosher is kept, children are asked to bring only dairy meals from home. I felt a little silly having had to relearn what I thought I knew about this. (But didn't a wise person once say we should learn something new each day?) With so many children coming from different backgrounds (both Jewish and non Jewish), the school needs to make sure that everyone follows the same dietary standards when at school. I wonder how hard that is?

What that means for "brown baggers" is a dairy lunch is OK, as is one with tuna and fish sticks. And then, of course, the usual, fruit and vegetables, drinks, etc.

For birthdays, the school encourages families to ask teachers for suggestions for a book or game that the birthday child and their family can donate to the class, in lieu of a birthday treat. If treats are brought in, they must be prepackaged and carry the Kosher symbol. I love the idea of teaching my son to give to others on his birthday, and even with his having a summer birthday, I plan to help him celebrate it early and before school ends for the year with a gift to his class. As for birthday treats, I have months to mull that one over!

Summer Break

2010-08-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in two months. I have worked full time in the summer the past few years, and it was the same for the summer of 2010. The work I do (summer residential camp) is intense, and takes weeks of prep work and then wrap-up so I haven't had much time to post. I have to get better about that next year, think ahead and do some writing to sustain me over the summer.

As I have thought about this, it sadly mirrors my own Jewish learning over the summer. Not much new on that front. Pushed aside for other things. Now that things have slowed down a bit, I find myself thinking about things more. Probably a lot of reasons for that - High Holy Days, Jewish preschool starting, a bit more time to contemplate life. I wonder if that happens with others - a religious summer break, in a sense...

How to You Correctly Pronounce the Word God?

2010-08-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

One of the traditions my husband and I have started with our son is reading The Bedtime Sh'ma by Sarah Gershman each night as the final book before bed. It is a nice way to bring a peaceful setting to the night, and I always find myself thinking about the words. The book starts off with the lines, "What have I done today? Did I hurt someone else? I ask for forgiveness. Did someone hurt me? I try to forgive." It is a good way to review my own actions ans words during the day.

Naturally, the word God comes up a lot.

Last week while reading the book, after hearing me say the word God, my son said, "No, mom, its God." I looked at him and tried to say God exactly the way he did, but he was not satisfied with my attempt. He corrected me again (in his mind at least, as my ears heard no difference in our pronunciations.) Is there really more than one way to say God? And am I really being corrected on this by a three year old?

Preschool Thoughts

2010-05-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

When I had my son, I never gave much thought to preschool. I was so busy learning everything a new mom needs to, that preschool seemed light years away. Then I started my Mother's Circle class and it introduced me to the idea of Jewish preschool and the idea really grew on me.

Many of the mother's in my class had sent/were sending their children to Jewish preschool and they had a lot of good things to say about it. As a MOJ (my newly coined term meaning Mother of a Jew), but not a Jew themselves, they liked the idea of having their children learn about Judaism in friendly environment, and by those more versed in Judaism than themselves. Many of the moms felt that they learned right along with their children and that their children's preschool experiences were helping them create a more Jewish centered home. Even the occasional "How come we don't say this prayer at home, Mommy?" encouraged conversations between the moms and their Jewish spouses. Jewish preschool seemed like a good way to not only help your child learn all things Jewish, but for the family to as well.

Can you see where this is going?

My husband and I are sending my son to a Jewish preschool in the fall. I am excited and nervous, as any mother would be sending her child to school for the first time. Will he make friends? Will he enjoy it? Will he miss me? Will I make a good Kosher lunch? Will I remember to check my calendar each week to remind myself that there is no preschool on Jewish holidays, some of which I have never heard of? Will I stand out as a non-Jewish mom? Do preschools have room mothers? Do you have to be Jewish to be a Jewish mom? =)

Noah and the Ark - Totally Jewish!

2010-04-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend and I were shopping at Costco and we stopped at the children's book area. We were there quite awhile and took turns showing my son different books to keep him occupied while we shopped. My friend handed him car books, then dinosaurs books, then grabbed a Noah and the ark book. Before she handed it to him though, she stopped and said, "Oh, you wouldn't be interested in this!" I knew immediately what she meant - she thought Noah was not an appropriate book for a boy being raised Jewish. I smiled and said, "Oh Noah and the ark? He's totally Jewish!"

I came home thinking about that and smiling, it is not the first time I encountered someone thinking a story they know as a Christian was not a Jewish story. When you are raised in one religion I don't think there is usually a lesson in which you learn that some religious figures are "shared" by other religions. There should be, because I think it would go a long way in helping people understand different religions. Of course, now I want to be the one to write that book, but I have a lot to learn before I can do that. Perhaps a brochure entitled, "Totally Jewish" to be given to interfaith families, to help those raised as Christians know there is a lot of shared history? Look for it at your nearest bookstore.... some day!

Shopping for Passover

2010-04-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

As I learn more about the Jewish holidays, I have become fascinated about which stores carry which items, and, I am happy to say, that it seems as though grocery stores are beginning to carry more and more Passover and other Jewish items.

This spring I made my first trip to Kosher Mart in Rockville, Maryland to prep for Passover. Just a walk down the aisle and I started learning. I was surprised (but I guess I shouldn't have been) that many of the shelves had been "Kosher for Passover" before Passover items were placed on them. It was also interesting to see the many new (to me) food items, and even the many types of matza. there were lots of specialty food items, and Passover children's items (like the box of plagues mentioned in the last entry). I even picked up some Passover decorated kitchen towels. I know, we are probably the only Jewish household with such a thing, but its a great "crossover" item!

It may have always been the case, but I now notice many of the local grocery stores feature Passover items, even recipes, in their weekly circulars. I have a recipe for a Passover apple strudel on my "to try" list now and so much left over matza, I really need to make it soon. What, you didn't notice that Giant was selling 5-pound boxes of matza, and depending on the brand, nearly giving it away? Oh yes! I bought two boxes - that is ten pounds of matza to the chagrin of my family. I am pleased to say we used/gave away most of it.

Speaking of Giant, they now carry Hamantashen in their bakery department. I noticed it right before Passover, so I think it is a new item and not just a seasonal one.

Gesher Day Revisited

2010-04-25T05:29:00.000-07:00

My family and I made it to Gesher Day last month, and we all had a blast. Joshua made his own matza, planted flowers to bring home for the Passover table, played Passover bingo (everyone was a winner) and did a lot of fun activities. One of my favorites was the dress-up and get your picture taken as Moses. They took pictures and immediately emailed them - ours are just precious. I now have some idea of what my son may look like as a man with a beard. As soon as he had the staff in his hand he tapped the ground, I think he may have a little shepherd in him somewhere.

It was a free event, the children got bags for their goodies and there were free snacks - a really fun event and a great way to see the school. Don't miss it next year!

A Passover...Thanksgiving

2010-04-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

I had been looking forward to Passover for weeks, but things did not go as planned.

Each year I learn a little more about holiday traditions through family and reading, and I try to incorporate new things with each holiday. This year that included cleaning the kitchen thoroughly. I had the "how to" from a synagogue and I was amazed at how intricate and time consuming preparing for Passover can be. I think of it as spring cleaning - with a purpose! I made a list of those things that needed to have "Kosher for Passover" labels, what was OK with out labels, if purchased before Passover, and what could be purchased during Passover without labels. I am not sure I got it all right, but it was a start, and it made me think about the holiday a lot more than had I not tried any of this.

Now that my son is inching closer to his third birthday, I thought it would be the perfect time to start incorporating some child-friendly traditions into Passover as well. I was really looking forward to grandpa hiding the afikomen, for example. I was also really tempted to buy a box of plagues, but thought it might be a bit much for a not-quite-three-year-old. I also thought opening the door for Elijah would be fun for my son. We had been reading a Passover children's book to Joshua that depicted both of these activities, so I thought he would understand them, at least in part.

However, it was not to be. My son woke up that morning with a fever that medicine and a doctor visit did not help bring it down. An hour before dinner the fever spiked and we took him to the ER. We were grateful for ER departments with special children's areas and we were not there terribly long, but our dinner was cancelled. We did make it back home to my in-laws for dinner, but by that time it as late and half the family had already eaten. With so much food, we got together the next night, but did not bring out the Haggadahs.

I was disappointed, but tried to think about the meaning of freedom and what Passover means. This year for me it focused on a different kind of freedom - freedom from worry for a son so ill we had to take him to ER, not once, but twice during Passover week. As painful as it is to have a sick child, I knew that I was free from the worry that many parents face with a seriously ill child. I also felt free from serious worry over the grandparents on both sides of the family, as we have three friends who are all dealing with serious health concerns with a parent. Our time for this will come, but this year I felt grateful for having them healthy and being a part of my son's life.

So this year, Passover felt like a different kind of freedom, and most of all, a real thanksgiving.

Family Fun this Sunday!

2010-03-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

A number of parent and Jewish family resources have mentioned a fun family event being held this Sunday, March 21 at the Gesher Jewish Day School in Fairfax. This is their third annual Community Family Fun Day and my family and I plan to check it out.

Gesher Jewish Day School - 3rd Annual Community Family Fun Day - Sunday · March 21 · 1- 4 · FREE EVENT
Mr. Twister performs (1:30pm)! Matzah Factory with Chabad of Northern Virginia, Dress up as Moses and Miriam, Learn about the Frog and Butterfly life cycle, plant flowers for your Shabbat table, Visit with Pako the Parakeet, Face Painting by JCCNV, Play Passover Bingo, Build a giant pyramid challenge, Take an Exodus hike, Jump on a moonbounce, Federation of Galaxy Explorers here too! Free Refreshments and Raffle. Gesher is located at 4800 Mattie Moore Court in Fairfax, VA 22030. For more information call 703-962-9216.

A St. Patrick's Day Parsley Update

2010-03-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

My son and I planted parsley from seed on Tu B'Shevat a few weeks ago. At 2 1/2 years old, he has been quite interested in watering the plants every few days. That might be because he has also taken a liking to playing in the kitchen sink and I keep the miniature greenhouse on the kitchen window sill, but it could also be because he truly understands my chats with him about the Jewish holidays, right?

The plants are still small, but healthy, and I hope they continue to thrive until Passover. We will definitely have to supplement the parsley on the Seder plate, but I assure you this momma will be eating the home-grown type when the time comes!

Hamantashen Happiness

2010-03-16T03:06:00.000-07:00

Purim is a favorite time of year for me because I have found it to be a great way to share a little piece of what I am learning about Judaism with my family and friends. (And, truth be told, I have a sweet tooth.)

Last year I learned how to make Hamantashen with the Mother's Circle class and then a good family friend shared her recipe with me and helped me work on my triangle making skills. She came over to the house and my mother-in-law joined us and we made a party out of it. Lots of laughter and story telling. It will always be a treasured memory. For anyone new to the world of Hamantashen, they are cookies shaped like triangles usually filled with jam or poppy seeds. The tricky part is making a circle of dough into a triangle. I am still working on that skill, but so far none of the tasters seem to mind eating misshapen cookies, so I think I am doing OK.

Last year I experimented with a lot of fillings - poppy seed, chocolate chip, raspberry, strawberry, apricot and ginger marmalade. I used the poppy seed straight out of the can and they were terrible. Not the traditional cookie my mother-in-law remembered, so I am still on the hunt to perfect that part. However, the jam filled ones were great, as were the chocolate ones which the older family members had not had before, but what I am happily learning now is very common these days. (Wow, that made me sound like a Hamantashen historian!)

My favorite part of all of this is the sharing with friends and family. I am going to make it my goal to introduce them to someone new each year. Last year I mailed them to my parents and aunt, this year I included my siblings. I also gave them to some friends, some of whom had never heard of them before. It was fun watching my son deliver them and then help adults learn to say Hamantashen. My sister called and left a message saying how much she enjoyed the "Hama....Hema...Hamanintash...uh, the cookies." I laughed, happy to know I am not the only one I know who finds some of these new words a bit of a tongue twister.

By the time my son is in college, I should have the triangle shaping down well and I look forward to sending him Hamantashen care packages each winter. After I teach him how to make them, of course...

Purim Party

2010-03-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

Purim was quite a while ago, but I wanted to reflect on how we spent it. We took our son to a great little preschool party held at Barnes and Nobles in Tysons Corner and sponsored by Growing Jewish Families. It was our first event with the group and it was nice to see a large turnout. The children decorated crowns with stickers, pompoms and macaroni and strung macaroni necklaces. (I smiled as I realized this was my son's first experience with macaroni art - a childhood milestone!) They received gift bags with Hamantashen and coloring pages and other fun activities. Goodnight Schma was read and I was pleased that this learning-to-be Jewish mom had a copy of the book already in the family library. (Thank you JCC book fair!)

It's Tu B'Shevat!

2010-01-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

Sunday will be Tu B'Shevat - the 15th day of the Jewish month of Shevat, a holiday known as the "New Year for Trees." It is spring in Israel now, the prefect time for planting, but there are a lot of ways that those of who are still in winter can celebrate:

1. Plant a tree in Israel

My husband and I had a tree planted last year in honor of our son, and in memory of a special family member who had passed away through the Jewish National Fund organization. The trees start at $18 and include a beautiful certificate. For more information check out their website at:

http://www.jnf.org/support/tree-planting-center/.

2. Plant Parsley Now for Passover

I guess this is pretty common with Jewish preschools, and I love the idea. I am going to try it this year with my son. We found a nice window sill starter kit and the local Home Depot where there were all kinds of options. I am not much of a green thumb, but I think it will be fun to begin teaching my son about plants - and something fun to watch in the weeks ahead.

3. Tu B'Shevat Seder

Another fun idea for those who like to experiment in the kitchen- planning a dinner that showcases the many fruits of Israel, as mentioned in the Bible: figs, dates, pomegranates, olives, grapes/raisins, wheat and barley.

4. Learning About the Environment

Make this weekend an earth-friendly weekend - serve a vegetarian menu, renew your commitment to recycling, take a nature walk and find different textures of things, what does the day smell like? Go to the library and find some new books to read about trees, plants and even new kinds of fruits and vegetables. I am always looking for new recipes and ideas for dinner - this is a great opportunity to try something new.

That Soda is for God

2010-01-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

Last week my son and I were lighting the candles for Shabbat and as I set the table, my son began eating the Challah - one of his favorite foods. I told him he needed to wait, we needed to say the prayers first. I poured the "wine" in the Kiddish cup and Joshua started to reach for that saying, "I want that soda." (Fear not, it contained no wine, we prefer sparkling juice.) As toddlers like to do, he repeated his request saying, "I want that juice." I said, no, that is for God. Then he says, "I want God's soda." I could not help but laugh and found myself looking upward, thinking I hope God was enjoying this! It was the first time I have heard my son say the word God.

Santa is Watching...and Did He Bring You Everything You Wanted?

2010-01-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

Last month, my son and I were at a number of events with children before the Christmas holiday. More than once I heard a mother tell her child not to be naughty "because Santa was watching." Now that I am the mother of a Jew, hearing that made me pause. It is not something I will ever be telling my son. I thought about my own childhood, and never remembered being told to be good because Santa was watching, although that was quite awhile ago! I stopped and thought about this, as I do whenever I am faced with something that used to be the norm in my life growing up as a Christian. Now those things make me stop and think because it is not the way I will be raising my son. Its like a blinking light that goes off and I think about how it connects to my own experiences as a child and then how my own child will experience something(or not). I stop, then think about what it means to be different -because that is the way I often think about the fact that my son is being raised differently then I was, at least religion wise. It is not a bad thing, but something that makes me think about my decision and more often than not, reaffirms my decision to raise him as a Jew. Oh well, I eventually think, I guess Joshua will have to learn to be good because his parents are watching!

Another similar blinking light moment was hearing adults ask my son if he had a nice Christmas and if Santa brought him everything he wanted. The first time we were asked this I think my son and I had the same blank look on our faces. He is 2 1/2 and often is shy around adults he does not know, where my blank face was the result of me trying to think quickly - something I am usually pretty good at doing. The adult quickly moved on to ask another child the same question, but I was left wondering how best to answer the question. Part of me wanted to say something like, "Not everyone believes in Santa." Or maybe, "He is Jewish." Part of me wanted to remind people that not every child thinks of Santa in December, but another part of me didn't want to offend the speaker either. After all, up until a few years ago I am sure I would have said the same thing. We do celebrate Christmas with my family, and that is an important part of tradition for me. So do I say something like, "No Santa this time, but Grandma and Grandpa were very good to him!" Weeks later I am still pondering my response to this - I want to be ready next year. I have not come up with anything yet, though.

Hanukkah Happening at the JCCNV

2009-12-11T05:51:00.001-08:00

There are a lot of fun activities on Sunday for Hanukkah at the JCCNV on Little River Turnpoke in Fairfax. The fun is from 2 - 5 pm and costs $10 per family for members, $18 for non members. Check their website for more details! the fun includes arts and crafts, story time, face painting, latkes and sufganiyot!

A Flame-Free Menorah

2009-12-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

My sister shared an article from the current Family Fun magazine with me for a really neat idea – a flame-free menorah. Made of corrugated cardboard, it uses tissue paper wrapped toothpicks for flames. Check it out at http://www.FamilyFun.com/magaine. Do a search for menorah and you will find many additional creative (and child friendly) variations.

I enjoyed making this with my son yesterday and having him color the menorah - in the special way only a 2/12 year old can decorate, favoring black permanent marker and making intricate circular scribbles. Last night Joshua told his Daddy that tomorrow was a holiday and he has been pointing out the menorah in the house. This year marks a special time – he is beginning to understand what things mean. I can’t wait to have him watch us light our menorah tonight, while he “lights” his own. I look forward to bringing out this special menorah for many years to come.

Oh, and to mark the first night of Hanukkah I am going to try my hand at sufganiyot – jelly donuts served in Israel during Hanukkah. Tomorrow my mother-in-law is bring her latkes, another recipe on my “must master” list because they are so delicious!

December Decisions

2009-12-11T05:31:00.000-08:00

One of the most challenging times for an Interfaith couple/family is December and what do about the holidays. For those who grew up celebrating Christmas, it is hard for us to think about not doing so and if we have children, passing on to our own children the excitement and wonder that we experienced at this time of year. My son is now 2 ½ years old and I remember walking through the mall and pointing out Santa when he was 6 months old. It was exciting for me to do this, but at the same time it felt a little weird, because we are raising our son as Jewish. It was a moment of excitement followed by a feeling of maybe I should not have done that. When a friend came to visit that year we found ourselves walking the mall and she insisted that my son have his picture taken with Santa. Part of me thought, “Yes, of course, family tradition” while the other part thought, “Hmm, I bet my husband never sat on Santa’s lap.…” Tradition won out and we have an adorable picture of an inquisitive 6 month old sitting on Santa’s lap. The next December rolled around, and I didn't feel the need for a picture, so I have never done it since. I am grateful that my husband is so easy going and does not have any preconceived notions on how things must be for our family of three at this time of year. I want to say that we are still making it up as we go along, but that makes it sound as though it not thought out...and this mother thinks a lot about it!

Calling it What it Is

I subscribe to a listserve of moms from the Mother’s Circle (moms raising, or thinking about raising, their children Jewish) and this December season topic has generated a lot of discussion. One mother challenged the group to think about this time of month as “December Decisions” rather than the “December Dilemma.” I like this approach because it really is more about making decisions for your family about how you honor the season, and the faith of each person and about the traditions, both carried on and newly made, that you wish to pass on to your child. Just phrasing it as decisions give me more clarity on what this month means to us, and will in the future. My husband and I are making conscious decisions for ourselves and our son, rather than allowing the struggle that the word dilemma brings to mind. A dilemma brings to mind a constant struggle, while a decision is a carefully thought out choice. And of course as a woman, I always reserve the prerogative to change my mind!

Good Morning/Broken Toe!

2009-11-23T13:49:00.000-08:00

The JCC did a great job with their children's programs during their recent Jewish Book Fair. My husband and I took our son to the Noah and the animals event (how fun it was to see him doing the limbo and dancing with an elephant and a zebra...and to party with a female Noah) and we also attended the Goodnight Schma reading with the grandparents. As the later activity got started I heard the organizers saying "Broken Toe! Broken Toe!" and I suddenly realized that I had heard this before - the day I took my son to the Rosh Hashanah tot program. This was the phrase I tried so desperately to remember to ask my husband about later in the day. I knew the teacher really wasn't singing "broken toe" but I thought it was close enough to what she was saying that someone would be able to translate it for me. No such luck, none that is until last weekend's author reading! As the author and organizer started greeting everyone, and the many children in attendance answered back, it suddenly dawned on me that what I was hearing was the Hebrew word for good morning (or good day), "Boker Tov" (boh-kehr tohv). My knowledge of Hebrew has begun!

4th Annual JCCNV Jewish Book Festival

2009-11-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

The book festival begins this Sunday, November 8 and runs through November 15^th at the JCC on Little River Turnpike in Fairfax. There are a number or speakers and book signings, three great activities for children, and promises to be a great way for everyone to add to their Jewish book collection – something for all ages! One of the activities this Sunday features a visit from Noah himself (bring your camera!) a story reading, and participants are asked to bring donations for the local animal shelter. How can you miss such a good cause? For more details on this, and other events, check out the JCC website at http://www.jccnvorg. See you there!

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper with a Toddler – Learning on the Run!

2009-11-05T11:58:00.000-08:00

Last month was my first experience with High Holiday services with a toddler. As we are not yet members of a synagogue, we went to services with relatives. I only attended the beginning of Rosh Hashanah services before taking my son to the toddler service. We both enjoyed the singing and I learned a few things as well – like the shofar is not blown on Rosh Hashanah when it falls on Shabbat. It was fun to hear my son shout out the words he knew, like shofar and challah, and watch his interest in learning a few more words. I still have a lot to learn – in the toddler room we sang a wonderful little hello song to each child, but I had never heard the words before and I had a hard time remembering it enough to ask others what it meant….my best attempt at repeating what we sang drew strange faces from my family. I think there are a lot more Tot Shabbat services in my future!

The synagogue we attended is conservative, and the service was all in Hebrew (for the small parts I attended). Even though I do not understand what is being said, I always find the service to have a musical like quality; it is a comforting sound and I enjoy following along in English when it is time. My husband often sings prayers in Hebrew and my son really enjoys it – no doubt he is enjoying what he is hearing although he does know know the meaning yet either.

We hope to belong to a synagogue soon, which would make attending High Holiday services much more meaningful next year for us all. In the mean time, it is a start and I will always have fond memories of the challah and honey shared with my toddler at our first Tot Shabbat!

What's In A Name?

2009-09-24T04:59:00.000-07:00

In the August 7 issue of The Week, there was an article in the “Best Columns: The U.S.” section entitled, “Why should Jews pretend to be WASPS?” by Ron Rosenbaum of slate.com who argues that it is time for “one of our most wildly successful Jewish Americans,” Jon Stewart of the Daily Show, “to change his name back to the one his parents gave him – Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz." The author argues that Stewart’s popularity is due to “his genius for exposing the “pretentious masks” worn by politicians, media figures, and other big shots” and as such, he should change his name and remove the “faint but unnecessary relic of anti-Semitism.” As a mother of a young boy with a “Jewish” first and last name, it makes me think. Knowing we would raise our son Jewish, I wanted him to have a Jewish first name, although since it is in the Old Testament, it is also a Christian name. My husband just liked the name for a number of reasons. Unintentionally, his name reflects both his parents religious backgrounds. Funny how things turn out.

Super Jew T-Shirts

2009-09-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

Where once the word Jew or Jewish would have no more significance than any other word, being part of a Jewish family I now stop to read anything that contains the word Jew or anything Jewish. One example:

The “You saw It? You liked it? Here’s how to get it!” column in the August 14 issue of Entertainment Weekly where a reader asked where they could find the Star of David/Superman t-shirt that Seth Rogen wore in the movie “Funny People.” The shirt was originally designed for a school play, but is now available to all at http://www.verymeri.com. What is not mentioned in the article, but is on the website, is that a portion of the sales will benefit the Jewish World Watch and Temple Israel Day School of Hollywood. When doing a web search for the image, I came across another design in what might be considered the original “Super Jew” t-shirt, available at http://www.superjudaicaheaven.com. They also sell the image as a magnet and mention the likeness of it to Mel Brooks character in the movie “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” I like the idea of the T-shirts, and the bold statement in makes. It also lends itself to the question, is Superman Jewish? There are books written on the subject with some compelling evidence. But that’s a topic for another day…

The "Importance" of Lighting the Candles on Shabbat

2009-09-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

This is one Jewish tradition that I try to make happen each week, although with a hectic summer that included a lot of time away from home, it was not easy to do. I welcome the more routine schedule of the fall which will permit us to celebrate Shabbat more regularly. My son’s first Hebrew word was challah, so this time of the week has special meaning and reminds me of how quickly he is developing.

If that was not reason enough, last week when we lit the Shabbat candles after a long absence, my son starting singing Happy Birthday…his birthday is in June, so obviously this was a more recent memory than Shabbat, although he had no trouble saying challah as he grabbed for the loaf! Still, it might be time to get back to this…

Jewish Numbers in the United States

2009-08-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Israel has 40.6%of the world’s Jewish population, and the US has 40.3% according to a 2006 survey found at http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/jewpop.html?

Did you know that the Jewish population in the United States is about 2% and has remained steady since 1990? It is split about equal between Reform at 41.4% and Conservative at 40.4%. By comparison, the projected numbers on non-religious people in mid 2000 was expected to be at 8.8%, and Muslims at 1.4% according to http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/02-Who-We-Are/section-22.html.

While researching Jewish and interfaith statistics, I came across this interesting article on Interfaith marriages. The article quotes a 2000-2001 National Jewish Population Study that reports 47% intermarriage rate for Jews who wed between 1996-2001. This up considerably from the previous decade, check out the article at http://www.interfaithfamily.com/news_and_opinion/outreach_success_stories/New_Numbers_New_Intermarriage_Initiatives.shtml?rd=2

Interfaith Resources – Interfaithfamily.com

2009-08-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

A useful website on all ages and stages of Judaism is http://www.InterfaithFamily.com, with resources on interdating, marriage, parenting, Shabbat, December holidays, Passover and Easter, death and morning, spirituality, news to name just a few.

Interfaith Resources – Judaic Gifts

2009-08-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

Mitzvah Tree Gifts, located at The Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia located at 8900 Little River Turnpike, Fairfax, is home to a variety of Judaic gifts for all ages. They change their displays to coordinate for the seasons and as such it is a great place to look around , especially for those of us new to all things Jewish. I stopped in there frequently after attending a Mother’s Circle class and my son and I enjoyed looking at all of the children’s items for each holidays. I added to our book collection with books on Purim and The Goodnight Shma , as well as some Jewish children’s music and a pair of Shabbat candlesticks. Find them right inside the JCC or online at http://www.mitzvahtreegifts.com. They are on summer hours now, so check out their website for exact days and times of operation.

Interfaith Resources –Shalom Baby

2009-08-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

This is something I wish I had known about when my son was born – a “Welcome to Our World” kit for new parents, newborns and newly adopted children in the Greater Washington Jewish community. “Shalom Baby” welcome bags include wonderful Jewish resources – a Jewish holiday board book, Jewish children’s music, an Alef-bet placemat as well as an immunization guide, coupons and other useful information. To find out more about Shalom Baby, contact Beth Felsen, Northern Virginia Engagement Coordinator at 703-537-3012 or email her at BethF@jccnv.org.

Interfaith Resources –The Jewish Community Center

2009-08-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

The local Jewish Community Center is another obvious resource, but one that I did not explore until taking my Mother’s Circle classes. They offer tours, and it is a great way to learn about the many resources they offer – fitness classes, religious and language classes, teen and senior programs, fine arts classes, childcare, preschool and more. I enjoyed reading over the packet of information and looking at the brochures for various organizations – summer camps, Jewish film festivals, Jewish information and referral services, and more! The Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia is located at 8900 Little River Turnpike, in Fairfax. Find them on line at http://www.jccnv.org or call them at 703-323-0880.

Interfaith Resources –Mother’s Circle

2009-07-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

Another wonderful resource is the Mother’s Circle, a series of classes created by the Jewish Outreach Institute, an independent, national organization that works to open hearts, minds and doors into the Jewish community for interfaith families. Classes start in the fall and run for 9 months, meeting on average, twice a month. I completed the class this summer through the Jewish Community Center of Northern Virginia and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The classes provide a safe environment for non-Jewish moms raising (or thinking about raising) their children Jewish. It was a place to ask questions, learn the basics about holidays and traditions and make friends. It was fun listening to other mother’s share their experiences and made me realize I am not alone in creating a Jewish path for my family. I also enjoyed earned learning from mothers who had children older than my son, and their answers to such questions as, “Who us this Jesus guy?”and “How come Grandma has a Christmas tree and we don’t?” If you are interested in learning more, please contact Laurie Albert at the JCC at 703-946-3655.

Interfaith Resources –The PJ Library

2009-07-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

If you have children you absolutely must sign up for the PJ Library – it is an amazing resource for parents raising Jewish children. A foundation that partners with local Jewish communities, PJ Library sends out Jewish bedtime stories and songs each month to participating families…for FREE. The books (and CDs) are age appropriate and are a wonderful way to help families build a Jewish library. As an Interfaith mom, I have learned a lot about Judaism and holidays through these books. Each time I read to my son, my own understanding and comfort with Judaism grows. The CD we received is one of my favorites even though I do not what I am singing much of the time! Every couple of months they send out a short email survey about the books they have sent and it only takes a minute or so and I love looking at the other books sent to older children – another way to learn about Jewish books. Check them out at http://www.PJLibrary.com.

Security Surprizes

2009-07-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

Like many others, I was shocked last month by the killing at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial. Shocked by the action, shocked that gunman was 89 years old, shocked that a man went to work one day never to return to his wife and child, shocked that a place dedicated to the memory of so many who had perished during the Holocaust was scene to yet another senseless killing. That evening I heard a National Public Radio report that a play about hate was to be performed that evening – a dialogue between Anne Frank and Emmett Till, the 14 year-old Chicago boy who was murdered in Money, Mississippi in 1955 for flirting with a white woman; two young children talking about the role of hate in their young lives. I could not help but wonder about the role of hate in my young son’s life. As a mother, some day I will have to explain such actions to my son. How does one begin to explain the hatred some people feel, hatred so deep and powerful that it drives them to feel justified in killing others to be heard?

On my first visit to a synagogue, I was struck by seeing a police officer outside the front door. I was used to seeing officers at church around weddings and funerals and holiday services, and thought it was the same at the Temple since I was there for High Holy Day services. Then I was told that there was security at the synagogue every day. That was a few years ago and I still think about that, why it is necessary in this country, in this world. I now know that security is present at every synagogue and Jewish Community Center, even in Israel. This bothers me, the need for security at a place of religion. It is a reminder that hatred exists everywhere.

I wonder now, some day will someone take a look at my son and dislike him or worse yet, hate him because of his religion? And then, how do I explain that? Raising a child in a religion I did not grow up in can be daunting. Not having shared experiences to draw on while raising my child makes me apprehensive at times. Apprehensive, that is, until I think about all of the other things I know little about, like raising a son, or getting a toddler to eat his vegetables or say please and thank you. I am learning as I go, making some mistakes, doing some things well (I think), and persevering in the best way I know how because I want my son to grow strong, learn about the world and be a good man. I think I know how to do that, and when I don’t, I reach out to others, to learn from their experiences. That in itself, is a lesson I want to pass along to my son. You do not have to know everything. That is the beauty of life – you learn as you go and you do the best job that you can.

My Interfaith Background - Laying the Groundwork

2009-06-16T12:25:00.001-07:00

My journey into Judaism started with the preparation of my wedding, the first Jewish wedding that I had ever attended. However, the true journey began two years ago when I became a mother. Like many parents, having a child changed my views on life and made me reflect upon the values I grew up with and what I want to instill in my son.

I grew up in upstate NY in a rural community – if I had Jewish classmates, I wasn’t aware of it. My mother reminded me that our neighbors across the street were an interfaith family. They had children a few years older than me so I never had much in common except a few kick-the-can games. I grew up going to church and served as an acolyte for a few years. I couldn’t help but feel closer to God when assisting the priest with the service. However, as many college kids, I never went to church much after high school, except at Christmas time. It just didn't seem important. But as an adult I realized that giving a child a religious foundation is important – it gives them something to draw upon in goof and bad times and exposes them to a whole cannon of literature and a cultural foundation. If my child walks away from religion in at a point in his life, that is his choice, but it has become important to provide him with a religious foundation as he grows up.

In college religion never really came up in conversation except between my Catholic roommate and I, and then I was just amazed at her recall in history classes when it came to memorizing a list of the Catholic popes. I knew there were Jewish students on campus (I saw the signs for Hillel House) but it wasn’t until I worked and lived at a boarding school that I made Jewish friends. That is where I attended my first Passover meal and learned about Hanukkah, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur through All-School Assemblies.

As my son's non-Jewish grandmother says, “If he is going to be a Jew, I want him to be a good one!” So do I…even if I cannot yet quite define for myself what that means. As I take my journey to Judaism on the road, I will be accompanied by my toddler son both learning and growing together.